August 2011
1 post
4 tags
WHEN WE WERE TWEENZ
high school was so great.
whether we sat at the popular table with the plastics,
or had to eat in the bathroom because no 1 liked us,
the high school years were the ‘golden years.’
we are different people now than we were in high school.
then, we used to attend pep assemblies and the mirror was a common medium for photography.
we were the ~tweens~
and these were our lives:
...
July 2011
3 posts
9 tags
MY TOP 5: WITH MATTIE HANSON
The bitches love him.
And so do the gents.
Our dearest Frattie Mattie lays down his top 5:
#5: Kid CuDi
“In my opinion, the best musician in the industry.
His raps are flawless, his voice is sexy, and he’s got more swag than he knows what to do with.
Just kidding, he knows exactly what to do with it.
I have to respect even his songs that I personally don’t like.
His concert was one...
10 tags
MY TOP 5: WITH NICOLE LEE
you may know her as nic-nak.
or the lass who can always be found in ground zero.
or the one who plays her ukulele by leavey fountain.
here, our multifaceted friend shares with you her top 5:
#5: ryan reynolds
“he looks good + has a good sense of humor.”
#4: britney spears
“she’s like that part in an infomercial when they say, ‘but wait, there’s...
10 tags
RIP HARRY POTTER
2day is a great day.
a sad + happy day.
a day that 1 day, people will be asking…
“where were u when harry potter ended?”
but let us not be sad.
for harry potter is eternal.
he gave me hope.
he gave us all hope.
maybe we weren’t just unpopular freaks.
or the unconventional gurl with the weird scar on her 4head.
i waited long + hard 4 my hogwarts letter 2 arrive.
...
June 2011
3 posts
5 tags
HOUSE HUNTERZ: BON TEMPS
Guys!! True Blood Season 4 premieres 2morrow!! So naturally, I spent the month of June having a Season 1-3 marathon. And I’ve come 2 the conclusion that Bon Temps is the most alt place in the world! [at least continental US]
Los Angeles is getting 2 conventional 4 me.
So I think I might move 2 Bon Temps, Louisiana!!
So I can hang out with the kewl supernatural memes of True Blood.
...
8 tags
WHAT'S THE BEST 'SUPERNATURAL' MEME??
Guys!! I just watched the pilot 4 ‘teen wolf’ because I heard it was relevant + has indie music. And I wanted 2 give MTV a chance 2 redeem itself after ‘skins.’ I have mixed feelings. But now I think the werewolf is the ‘it’ meme of 2k11.
Tags: Teen Wolf, MTV Shows
*********************
So here’s the basic premise:
An average teen boi [could be...
17 tags
BREAKING TRAGEDY: COLDPLAY SELLS OUT!
guys, the 1st time i heard coldplay’s new single, ‘every teardrop is a waterfall,’ i started crying a waterfall.
not because it moved me artistically, but because coldplay officially SOLD OUT!
granted, it was a long time coming.
u would think that ‘viva la vida’ would have been preparation enough.
but i was hoping that this moment would sound less like ke$ha...
May 2011
4 posts
7 tags
SETH + SUMMER 4EVR: THE O.C. IS ETERNAL
once upon a time, in 2005, i relished the opportunity 2, after a long, grueling day in private catholic middle school, go home + spoil my mind with the greatest television show known 2 mankind: the o.c.
o, marissa…u were so pretty + troubled…
o, ryan…u were so brooding + troubled…
o, summer…u were so popular + troubled…
o, seth…u were so nerdy +...
3 tags
MS. MASRI OR: HOW I LEARNED 2 STOP...
we all have that 1 great inspiration that set us on our path of greatness. 2 some it may be our math teacher ms. honey or wendy peffercorn the sexi lifeguard or even our big bro zooey. regardless of who it was, we pseudo-hipster trojans here at hko learned from the best. i, 4 instance, ascribe my natural, pure altness 2 my mentor, friend, + partner in crime, tamara masri.
[normally i would have...
3 tags
THE 40-YEAR-OLD BB GOD
what did u do by the time u turned 40?!?!?! yeah i know ur probz not even 20, but think of everything u have done so far in ur sad, pathetic lyfe + double it. i don’t give a shit who u r, u come nowhere near the bb god [+ by god, i mean sofia coppola]
now, if u know anything about hko, u obvs understand that we all play 4 #team_coppola. if u have any sense/appreciation 4 lyfe + art +...
5 tags
INGLEWOOD'S UP 2 NO GOOD
from an undisclosed location— so i know i said i would never report on hood crimez, but when u mess with HKO, u will pay!!! maybe not in a monetary sense, but u will 4eva b humiliated on pseudo-hipster social networking cites. we all know u got the short end of the stick. me, i just buy a new laptop. but u, bb, u must cope with this emotional damage. sleep with 1 eye open. but literally if i...
April 2011
5 posts
6 tags
ROYALS R BETTER THAN U
that hussy kate just ruined the dreams of millions of gurlz [ + boyz] around the world. i hope u know that british women + the queen h8 u. london only has room 4 1 kate [via k moss]. #h8rs_gonna_h8. but ur so prtty, bb + u r nice 2 kiddies so u must b a good person.
in case u missed the royal wedding, here is a recap:
+ now all the boyz of england r jealous of wills. he’s the future...
FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK, BB!! →
6 tags
10 THINGS I LEARNED FROM 'WEIRD SCIENCE'....
i just watched ‘weird science’ 4 the 1st time. i truly have no words. maybe bc im not a 13 yr old boi who goes 2 skewl with rdj.
regardless, my devotion 2 god [via sofia coppola] has taught me 2 always see the good in lyfe. u can gain knowledge + happiness from everything, yall. even 80s movies that dont make sense. so here r the 10 things i learned from ‘weird science’:
...
3 tags
SOBER CUDI IS STILL KING!!!
scott mescudi [via kid cudi] kicked off his new tour with ‘chip tha ripper’ last nite at the hollywood palladium. u probs think it was really mainstream, but there were a lot of underground ppl there. literally. i’ve never seen so many foul ppl in such a small place at 1 time b4. ewwie!!!!!
it was truly the most eclectic mix of ppl evr.
30% cholos
30% college kiddies who think...
13 tags
I'M WITH TEAM COPPOLA!!!
coachey is in a week!!!!! but 4 conventional usc bitchez who don’t know the likes of cults or YACHT they instead went 2 all the free musiks on campus this weekend. there was even a hipster babie. that’s right, some1 did the impossible.
or if ur like me, u just went to springfest 2 see mischa barton stand in the crowd of pseudo hipster freshman awkwardly wait until rooney played the 1...
March 2011
9 posts
8 tags
RB RUINED MY FAV DAY [VIA FRIDAY FUN]
the superhuman tweenie gurl that is rebecca black should b sued.
she recently did a conventional cover of rudebrat’s dubstep song ‘friday.’
who does she think she is?
then she did an acoustic cover of nick jonas’s song, also called ‘friday.’
srslly who does she think she is?
c’mon gurl, he’s trying 2 shed his disney boi band image, ur not...
5 tags
GIRL TALK, I SCREAM
so last night ½ of hipster knockoff went 2 the girl talk concert
greggsie was so bugging out + crazie [via confetti, balloons, + giant, nylon, peen-shaped color columns]
when i got home i found a handful of confetti in my bra
the best kind of souvenir yall!!!!!
5 finger discount
but n e wayz gregsie throws the best hipster dance parties
if ur trying 2 win hipster bingo then u should go 2 a...
7 tags
CAILOWZ RUNS + HELPS KIDDIES + DEFIES RAIN 2 B A...
flea + gordon ramsay + ben gibbard weren’t the only celebrities running the el ay marathon this year!
brooke shields ran [via hipster knockoff’s very own cailowz]!!!!!
she even raised money 4 child s.h.a.r.e. !!!
ive never been more proud of any1 b4.
probz bc i am a selfish bitch + have never had a soulm8 b4.
forget reformed druggie celeb role models
forget thinspo...
21 tags
'I DON'T LIKE THAT' [QUINNIEMAZ EDITION]
there r a lot of things i dont like.
+ ppl take up the majority of that list [see soundtrack 2 my lyfe]
+ its spring break + im 2 lazie 2 actlly write n e thing bc ive been writing internship letters bc im in film skewl + there4 have no lyfe, so here r pics of the things i h8 most in lyfe:
1.
not j casa or al hammie or nickie v. i luv the strokes. kings of the alt. i just h8 miley. + the...
7 tags
UNICORNS R REAL BUT LUV IS NOT [UNLESS UR A...
in 2008, a lil film was made 4 $6 million + it only made $3,849 in america. this lil film has unicornz without horns, a dumb bitch, niagra falls, + 1 of the most successful men of the past year. now ur curious, aren’t u?
this lil gem of a film is camille. my new guilty pleasure [via replacing heathers in my heart] it only opened in austin, texas + russia. could u b n e more alt?
this movie makes...
19 tags
R U DOING CHARLIE SHEEN? [VIA DRUG OR SEX]
yall probz think charlie sheen is a psycho crazie. no. carlos irwin estevez is actlly the most alt human ever.
but he’s more than a human.
he is an upper being who has graced this planet with his advice and talent.
25 things u probz didn’t know abt charlie “winning” sheen:
1. he is irish + spanish
2. among his diverse roles, he has played a flea bag
3. his net...
10 tags
HOW 2 B A MANICURED HIPSTER
hipsters get a bad rep 4 being ‘dirty’ or ‘lazy’ or maybe even ‘smellie.’ if u think these things, maybe u r confusing hipsters with the crust kids of america. but at usc no 1 rlly cares if u have a good ‘personality’ or what u ‘think’ unless u look good + hawt. so here is how 2 b an alt, hipster hottie:
STEP 1: HAIRZ
the smith...
4 tags
EVKAY IS THE BEATING HEART OF USC!
unless u live under a rock,
or in the south central ‘hood’
or r an architorture student + only work,
then u clearly know that evkay
is the greatest place 2 eat/relax!!!
stupid urban dictionary says:
EVK: also known as “everybody’s kitchen” a cafeteria style restaurant at usc that tastes like licking the crotch of the devil.
“evil kitchen” or “shit hole”
“hey man, want to go get some...
3 tags
WHAT R U DOING 4 SPRING BREAK 2K11?
hey college partay ppl!!!!
ur favourite tyme of the yr is cuming up soon
spring break 2k11 yall!
now if ur like most trojans ur probs going on a rlly kewl vacay
2 like mexi or somewhere ‘tropical’
bc socal isnt warm enuf
but this way u get 2 go on a mad bender with ur besties
like u do every thursday
but this way there will b foreign ppl
2 hook up with
instead of ur reg slampieces +...
February 2011
4 posts
6 tags
R THE OSCARS 2 MAINSTREAM 4 U?
guess what yall? the oscarz r 2nite! now i know theyre rlly mainstream, but i just luv movies ya know what i mean? + j franc is co-hosting with that hussy who was a princess + sold her soul 2 the devil or sumthing
but both of them have been practicing a lot 4 their arduous duties as hosts aka talking + looking rlly keut.
i just hope there r no ‘wardrobe malfunctions.’ in their...
9 tags
FUCK 1, MARRY 1, KILL 1 [SOCAL STONER STYLE]
whaddup, bitches! [the hipster handbook tells me thats how 2 greet a hipster.] n e wayz i went 2 the bestycoastyy/wavves bro concert on thursdai nite. it was 2 kewl!!!!
i had 2 wait outside 4 2 hours b4 the concert started but got 2 meet sum rlly alt ppl while every1 was lining up atop hwood starz eating smellie burgers + drinking spiked cokes. it was kinda a big deal bc there was a clash...
5 tags
2 RIDE SLUTWAVVES AT BEST COAST CONCERT!!!!
hey yall, so 2nite im going 2 the bestycoastyy + wavves concert. best coast is my fav lo-fi, fuzzy semi-underground ‘buzzband’ bc she’s chill and likes cali4nia, boyz, + weed. she’s a cat luvr like me, so she has my indie r.e.s.p.e.c.t. + no one else in the band matters.
and wavves [via nathan williams] is just her stoner bf who acts like a kiddie + likes aliens + satan....
6 tags
'PRTTY IN PINK' IS JOHNNY HUGHES'S DEAD LIMB
so in film skewl i’m taking a class on john hughes- screenwriter of the 80s glory + mollie ringring’s weird daddie/hornie creeper figure. we just watched ‘prtty in pink’ which i used 2 like as a kiddie. why? i dont know. it sux. mollie ringring is so uglie with her male hair and weird clothes. ur not prtty in pink. what kind of girl’s name is andie? + all the boyz are...
